Dear Valet People,
I was going to address the letter to Valet Men, but then I realized that just because I have never seen a Valet Woman does not preclude her existence. So I wrote to the gender-neutral Valet People instead. I guess being a Valet Person is a pretty male-dominated field, though... kinda like orthopedic surgery, pipe fitting, and men's basketball. Anyway, I just wanted to write and tell you how much fun it is to watch you guys run to go get the cars! Literally, run. There's always a string of you, running that same course... almost like a trail of ants. I think it is supercute! Some of you put a little more effort into it than others (honestly! some of you look like you're just going through the motions!), but, in general, it's a good show. I believe that you are trying to get my car as fast as your little legs can. Although, you know, you totally give away the secret places you park the cars. It kind of dilutes the mystery of the valet, but I'm learning to deal with it. Also, I think you are all excellent reverse parkers! I once backed into a pole while reversing my car into a spot, so I have a particular appreciation for this skill. Keep up the good work!
Your #1 fan