Thursday, June 28, 2007

Dear CNN...

This e-mail was sent to me with the subject "required reading".

CNN has now written an article on the 2-year-marriage-followed-by-divorce
trend that you have been carefully tracking all year long.

It's about time you got with the program, CNN.


There was a link to an article about all the recent celebrity breakups and how they seemed to be between more successful wives and less successful husbands. The article doesn't exist anymore, but they mainly wrote about Hillary Swank and Reese Witherspoon. This whole trend-tracking thing started when one of my college friends (C) got divorced and I somehow had this feeling that all my friends were getting divorced. Well, they were. I carefully noted each breakup amongst my "friends" months before CNN decided to publish their article. This was my response...

Dear CNN,

What does CNN stand for anyway? Certainly not Cable News Network! How about Copy Number one fan's News! Yeah! Take that, CNN. I totally picked up on this story with the split of the atmospherically popular C and her less bankable husband, J. Oh, and you left them out of the article. As you did with Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson (you can file them under "infidelity"). How about Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (America's favorite divorcees) and Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro (America's favorite freakshow couple). You can file them under "MTV killed whatever little we had". And where is the humanity and sensitivity you are famous for? Why did you not mention how the ideal world of Hollywood fame and fortune is faltering? How this series of divorces combined with Mel Gibson's tirade have taken the shine off the Hollywood glow? What is your average Joe/Jane supposed to look up to? We want hair extensions, fake tans, marriages that last more than 5 years, and people to bite back the bitterness of their unequal successes and pretend that their lives are great!!! Because everyone knows that our lives would be better with money. I know, I know, money doesn't buy you happiness; but, it does make you better looking and it can certainly buy you friends who in turn make you happy.
So, CNN, although your article was less than thorough, lacked the sensitivity of a true gossip magazine, and was slightly delayed, I acknowledge your attempt to branch out into "Entertainment News" and respect your attempt to bring light to an important story. However, perhaps, in the future, you can work on your pattern recognition skills and jump on stories like this a little earlier.

Sincerely,
Your sometimes #1 Fan

1 comment:

MJ said...

I had forgotten about this one, #1 Fan! What a great renewed surprise!

Keep up the good work.